truth and beauty bombs

What's the story, Fishcone?

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 06:29:53 GMT

I can't remember the last time I updated this thing. But I need somewhere to put this, to remember feeling just this awesome.

You aren't going to recognize the names, I'm sorry. Just go along with it.

Colin has always been saying that what we need is sidewalk chalk, because Ithaca is covered in pavement (and stairs). So while they were all downtown, Sarah decides to buy him a 15 piece thing of sidewalk chalk. At 10:00 PM, deciding that nothing was going down in the place we all were, we hit the pavement.

We drew everywhere, from our friends' dorm to a parking lot to the lower quad to the entire academic quad, to the library, up to each of our various rooms. Outlines of shadows, fake body outlines (with the words "Hit by a Hybrid"), a series of stick figures, rainbows, messages like "Someone loves you" and "Give free hugs", moons, stars, everything. Andy met up with us, completely flustered, exhausted, and a little grumpy. I tackle-hugged him, which didn't help. But when he drew his guitar-that-doesn't-look-like-one-wait-WTF? masterpiece he began to cheer up. Some people even asked if they could draw things too. One kid drew a badass sun. Over by the fountain, I drew our portraits. Andy wrote "les artistes" and said we should all assume pseudonymes. Donatello, Raphael, Michelangelo, and Leonardo: The Ninja Turtles.

I haven't had that much fun in ages. The entire campus is covered in sidewalk chalk, there's none left for next time, and I feel great.

We went back and watched "Me, you, and Everyone We Know." Great movie, with great company.

Then Colin came over because his roommate was presumably having sex, and we hung out for a bit.

I don't know. I just feel really good today. I can't wait until everyone sees it tomorrow. There are 6,500 kids who go to this school, and every last one of em is bound to see at least one of the drawings. Wow.

Awesome.

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 20:24:51 GMT

So it goes.

I don't know what I want

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:40:14 GMT

Avoid being average at all costs

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 20:49:36 GMT

I hit my ankle today and now it's swollen and kind of purple...oops. This better go down by tomorrow no way am I missing ultimate frisbee.

So I had an epiphany. As to why I've been so glum and such a complete misery to be around. Sorry about that, by the way.

I'm dissatisfied. This is LIFE. This is time, time that will be gone soon, or worse, time that's only good when we're young. We're young now. Yet, I feel like I am completely wasting my time. I wake up. I go to school. I see friends. I go to various clubs. I go home. I do homework. Rinse and repeat.

I guess I just expected more out of life. Our lives are the biggest, most important things there are in this world, and we spend them translating simple Spanish sentences and longing for boys or friends, or just a life other than ours, all of which we could easily acheive. Life is supposed to be extraordinary, not average.

Now I have choices, I suppose. Choices that could alienate some of the people around me, or make me really happy, depending on a few unknown second parties. I think I might do the bold thing. I want a life that's worth living, damn it.

I just need to make some changes.

I feel better.

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 05:35:15 GMT

Hi.

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 04:01:27 GMT

I feel the need to update. So here you go!
Well the last few days have been pretty busy for me. I've been hanging with Katrina nonstop, which is cool, cz soon she'll be gone for 2 weeks and my social life will be destroyed. And then I started singing backup for Nina and the Testosterones. That has been hella fun. Everybody is really chill and we have a good time. Even though I HUMILIATED myself today when I couldn't rember any of the words to the songs they were playing after practice. Oh well. I know the ones on the set list! So I suppose that's something.
And then we went swimming and to ridgewood where john got pwned by this passing car armed with a water bottle TWICE, so we spent a good part of the evening driving around looking for the car so we could throw rocks/frappachino at it. We're such nice kids.
My neck really fucking hurts.
Oh man, I have gym first period. With my little brother. We'll see how that goes.

I fucking love you, man.

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 02:27:28 GMT

Last day of classes. Last day spent with the seniors. It was pretty melancholy. They drove me home from school/rehersal and made up funny names for me. They OWNED drama club. They cursed creatively with me during lunch periods. They gave me awesome hugs. They complained about the bus with me. They allowed me to mock them ruthlessly. They talked about Trent Reznor and his billion stupid ways of pronouncing teeth with me. They aided me in Urdang bashing and made me laugh. They were my moot court partner. They threw, and almost killed me during the drama productions. They helped me with art. They helped me with logarithms.

I'm happy for you, but sad for me at the same time. Good luck Class of '06. Have fun. Don't forget about us.

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 01:37:41 GMT

I just had a bit of a breakdown. I was trying to do homework, and suddenly papers were all around me and I couldn't take it. I got so overwhelmed. I was like this all day, but then I just snapped. I back away from my desk and began cleaning my room like my life depended on it. There was just so MUCH around me.

But as far as breakdowns go, this was by far the most productive. My room looks very neat.

I'm pretty bummed about this precalc situation. I need to get a good grade on the final in order to get a C for the year, but I keep looking at these review sheets and wanting to cry. I haven't handed in the last four review assignments because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I have a week and 2 days. I'm doomed.

Meh, I don't mean to be such a whiner. Damn that reality.

I'll go now.

Fri, 12 May 2006 02:26:18 GMT

I really try to avoid these kind of posts. but...

Holy shit. THE OFFICE. Pam and Jim.
Damn I love that show.

I feel that I should make this post somewhat worthwhile, so everyone comment with the strangest thing that happened to you today.

so now you're talking to yourself?

Sat, 08 Apr 2006 03:06:09 GMT

And so I emerge from my LJ vacation. I don't know why I haven't updated. I guess I've just been busy.

And you know what the sad thing is?

Nothing's really changed. Heh.

Oh, but there is super-wonderful-fantastic news:
ANDREA GOT A 91 ON HER MATH QUIZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those of you who don't realize how big of a deal this actually is, for the last two marking periods, I have been dangerously close to failing, and haven't gotten a single grade, even a test or quiz above a C since 8th grade. In other words : This is HUGE.

And I am totally the least graceful person in my US History class. I bumped into, dropped, fell on, or just plain ran into more things then I could count today, each slightly more embarrasing then the last. :P

In other news, Starburst jelly beans are quite tasty.

I'm experimenting with a short story. Rather, the idea of a short story. Not sure if I could do my idea justice. The only reason I'm writing this is because now I have to do it, cuz I wrote it.

I'm really excited to see Songs for a New World tommorrow night. I've heard really good things, and well, I've seen really good things at rehersal/tech-well, those few days I bothered to show up, at least. It's going to be awesome.

There may be a need to go friends only or just change names in the near future, due to possible parental surveillance of da LJ. If I have to, could anyone enlighten me on how to make all previous posts friends-only?

ok, g'night.

Jason, you're just the picture of teen angst.

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 00:11:52 GMT

Oh boy.

Muchos crazy times at tech today.
Apparantly Matt's best friend used to be a blue door but they've grown apart. And now in his depression without Matt, the door has turned all scene/neonazi skinhead. Also, a peice of our set looks like a guillotine.

And then we got yelled at by a janitor.

...I guess you had to be there.

But yeah.

And then Liz showed up (hi Liz!)

And then I went home and took a nap.

So it was a good day.

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 21:32:16 GMT

I'm procrastinating.

...

Yep.

Today was decent. Bumped my Bio grade up two points and now only have two academic areas of dire importance to take care of before the end of the marking period: precalc and US History.
The precalc test wasn't so bad. The best one I've taken since the beginning of the year, anyway. But that's not saying much.

But I got a new icon! I've had the same icon since I got this stupid LJ last year. And it's Boy Meets World! Which I still believe was the greatest show ever made.

Indeed.

Ok I'm through boring you all.

There's no one to dance with

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 03:34:20 GMT

I should update.

Meh. I feel blah. I have no...energy.

Got to go to school late today. Yay for not-mandatory standardized tests!

Had a massive dropage of blood sugar 4-5 period. That was not fun. But I got a cookie as soon as lunch started and that made me feel a lot better.

Moot court tommorrow. All day. Well at least until 3. That's still a long time to be in Princeton talking about the Supreme Court. Not to mention that we have to spen half a Saturday, with everyone's favorite evil incarnate: Ms Urdang. Oh well.

The weather is fucking AWESOME. I walked outside after school, and I was happier then I'd been all summer. It's finally getting warm!

And I'm bored. Later, kiddies.

old ladies can't drive.

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 04:34:49 GMT

So considering how I was really bummed about this weekend, things are looking up.
I think I did alright on my 2 tests. I mean, I used both a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen quote, and called FDR "democracy's own superhero" In my DBQ for US history. How can you fail?
And I turned in all my make-up work for Spanish class.
After school, I went for coffee with Heather, and drove around until we could pick Missy up from work. Interesting car experience along the way.
Then the twins and I went to the mall. Do you ever notice, when you go to a mall late at night, that all the teenagers there are either completely scene/emo/goth or totally ghetto-ed out? It's weird.
We went to Border's and I got a new book, called McTeague. I'm such a book nerd. I was so happy when I left the store, and my friends all gave me the "what the fuck? you're weird" look.
Then we got lost in River Edge for a moment, trying to find our way home.
A memorable night.

Still a little annoyed that I can't go to the show tomorrow night. It's gonna be so good! Eh, but it's my brother's birthday and I have to be home for dinner. Such a devoted sister am I.

Zat's all, folks.

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 02:47:31 GMT

Have you ever needed to punch something? While you stand there, getting angrier and angrier, and suddenly this pressure goes into your hand, and it just builds up until, well, until you smash it against something, most likely a wall.

Yeah. Maybe thats just me.

I'm in my mid-homework slump. Same time every night. So I figured I'd finally do this:

Tagged by Liz like a month ago or something.

Seven songs I'm into atm.

1. You Got A Killer Scene There, Man...-Queens of the Stone Age
2. Johnny-The Violent Femmes
3. Dear Scene, I Wish I Were Deaf-Nightmare of You
4. McFly-Pinkly Smooth
5. Revealing Too Much-The Honorary Title
6. Trashed and Scattered-Avenged Sevenfold
7. Habit-Jump Little Children

Fuck taggin' people ,man, you've all already been tagged.
Oh wait! I tag ivyleague.

I don't know why we bother with these music ones, its not like they're entertaining to the reader or anything.
Hmm. How bout bunnies? Rabid mutant bunnies that take over the white house or something. Now that's entertaining.

Fuck you, Microsoft! You and you red-squiggles!

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 01:08:38 GMT

I'm bored.

I have so much homework to do, but I am bored.

So I'm gonna make a list of what's left:

~10-12 page research paper.
~Precalc
~Sociology questions.

This is after I did my english, (more) US History, and half my precalc.

Yep, I don't think I'm sleeping tonight.

This research paper is going to kill me.

Oy.

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 00:49:52 GMT

NEWS BREAK
"February 20th, 2006

"Henry Rollins [of the Rollins Band] was called a 'possible threat' by the Australian government. In response Rollins said: 'I was reading a book called Jihad by Ahmed Rashid which is a history of Central Asia. I didn't speak to the man next to me past how do you do. I think Ahmed Rashid is published by Yale University Press. Bush's alma mater. Please tell your government and everyone in your office to go fuck themselves. Tell them twice. If your boss is looking for something to do, you can tell him I suggest he go fuck himself. Baghdad's safer than my hometown and your Prime Minister is a sissy.'"

Hahahahaha. Austrailia's got it out for metal music. Well I found it amusing, anyways.

So how's your break been? Mine was good. Kate and Katrina and I went to preakness yesterday, after causing mass chaos on the internet. Sooo much fun. Some people are so stupid. Really. Other then that not much has happened. Avoiding homework, doodling, yea.

I love no school. The days go by much quicker, though.

From Yesterday Comes Tomorrow

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 03:56:53 GMT

This is going to be a looooooooooooooooooooong week. Oh boy.

I went through the entire day today thinking it was tuesday, and EVEN THEN I thought the week was going slow. That's how slow this week is.

The problem isn't not having any energy, its not having any creative energy. I just don't feel like thinking in general, let alone schoolwise.
That and I have the worst case of writer's block.

Delayed openings, as nice as they are, screw with my head.

Snow is a funny thing

Score for having only a half hour of US History, though.

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 22:59:27 GMT

Slept until 2:40 this afternoon. Sweet. That's practically a new record, at least for me anyways.

The sleep was well needed, I can feel myslef coming ou of the zombie-like state I've been in these past couple of weeks.

I'm considering cleaning my room. Ehhh, probably not.

Gahh it doesn't feel like saturday. Feels more like friday. Also feels like 10 am. In hindsight, sleeping that late was probably not a good idea. Oh well.

I have to decide between doing moot court and academic decathalon, or doing drama. And I have to decide before monday. I have fun inall of that, but I actually have a chance of doing well in Acky-D (providing I kick tom offa the c team) and winning moot court. Drama, I know I'll probably get a small part, and even if I dont do it I'll probably still get to do the art anyway cuz tech/painting starts later. But drama is so much fun! Gah.

Ok yeah thats it.

We need Mickey Mouse to say "Let me tell you about Chuck Norris."

Fri, 10 Feb 2006 03:27:41 GMT

Well I dont have much to say, but I want to update to continue my procrastination.
So you may disregard this, for it wont be very interesting.
Not that I'm a very interesting person anyways.

There are a lot of things that I don't understand.
I don't understand people. How people can trust other people. Maybe I'm cynical, or paranoid, or both, But I just can't seem to trust people.
I don't understand how people could be so close minded, towards other people or ideas.
I don't understand hypocrasy, even thought I've practiced it more then once.
I don't understand my family. Why we're so motherfucking disfunctional. Why we all have such a bad relationship. Sometimes I think that everyone is trying, its just not working.
I don't understand my own mind. Why I know that I am very intelligent, and am able to prove this, but I don't. I don't understand why I procrastinate until midnight, and publicly admit to doing poorly, but brutally beat myself up about it privately.
I don't understand my ego. Why I think asking for help will humiliate me, that asking is worse then failing on my own. Why I feel that crying in front of someone is a huge sign of weakness. Why I dont think that about anybody else.
I don't understand why, at some times, I can be extremely witty and have the perfect thing to say at the perfect time, and at others, especially around certain people, I just cant think of anything to say, and therefore don't say anything at all.
I don't understand what the big deal is about people refusing to be Politically Correct. I dont care, but its considerate to to others. It takes an extra millisecond of thought. Get over it.
I don't understand why everything has to have a point. Maybe there's a good thing in NOT having a specified objective.
I don't understand you all.
I don't understand why I can't concentrate for more then a half hour.
I don't understand why I'm so nervous and fidgety all the time.
I don't understand why I don;t care that much when my parents say that I'm not going to college.
I don't understand why, after 2 DayQuil, 1 Benadryl, and a cup of coffee, I dont feel any better or more alert.
I'm confused

I'm a screwed up kid.
Yupyup.

Wow, I sound depressing

"Gary deserves his own derogatory term"

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 01:28:00 GMT

So. Today

Woke up early and went to districts.
-Found out that the locker sections were all locked up. So much for doing that missed homework.
-Had some orange juice
-Did the usual epee bitchery which basically means I carried the slip to the bout comitee when we won. Actually Maca and I traded off.
-Watched Alison, Krystal, and Anna fence.
-Lost against Ramapo
-Overall the squad did 6-3.
-We kept getting the same strip/director and we were making up cheers from Daddy Yankee and other rap songs, and we may have freaked the director out a bit. He kept laughing nervously after each cheer.
-Hung out with Kyle and Kenelly for a while. Those two are extremely amusing.
-Got free donuts from Yeji
-Got hit on by a creepy frosh from Passaic Valley
-Watched Liz and Liz's video of their disgusting escapades.
-Watched individual guys saber
-Checked my voicemail, and saw that my father had been waiting in the parking lot for an hour, only calling my phone once. Apparently, when I said that it would "probably be over around 2 (which was a bad estimate, I know)" he thought that ment to be there by 1:45. Oops.
-Went driving with my dad through a cemetary. Realized how ironic that was on so many levels.
-Dad dropped us off, usual parental bitch fight esued.
-Came up here to write about my day for you to read, which. I'm sure, was the most thrilling part of your day.

Yessss pretty good sunday.

Two Realizations about Myself:
I don't know when to keep my big mouth shut
If I could, I would spend every minute of my life at school.

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 01:27:58 GMT

I'm back.
And finally feeling somewhat normal. Thank God. I forgot how much it sucked to be sick.
Just in time, too.
Academic Decathalon today. I did alright, I think I was pretty good in Art, Music, and Econ. We got second in SuperQuiz, which sucked, because we only lost by one point. Oh well. We still did really well.
And then there's districts tomorrow, which I think I should go to. I need to get my binders out of my locker, and I wanna see all the people that I havent seen in four days.

Ulgh. I have so much makeup work to dooooooooooooo. Thats gonna be a pain in the ass.

I told my mm about my report card. She didn't seem too upset, she just said that she was concerned. However, she refuses to tell my father. Uh oh. I think that I'm gonna call him on his next business trip. That way he has to fly all the way back from wherever the hell he will be before he can strangle me/take away literally every extracurricular activity and personal freedom I have. Oh boy.

fkjdhe[hnb[oiierg[i3O[HOEHJOIJOIoioijoijhvgh395ynct78

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 07:20:15 GMT

I just wrote one of the best thing I've written this month in this lj entry. I was so proud of it. It was so good. So eloquent. It was perfect.

And then I clicked the "rich text" mode.

And it erased it.

And I can't remember the exact wording and now it sounds awful and horrible.

I just might cry.

Argh.

EDIT- Okay crazy-after-2-am-me is gone. That really pissed me off though. It was the first half-decent thing I've written in a while. Note to self: when you feel like you are onto something good prose wise, get it the fuck off lj and onto microsoft word and then finish it. Or lj will kill it.

So it goes

EDIT VERSION 2.0-whomever can guess the reference from the last line gets a cookie.

And monster children with monster faces are looking for love in all the wrong places

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 01:39:43 GMT

YES.
All day test day for Acky-D tmrw, which means:
No Spanish!
No double Bio!
No History! (which means I only have to deal w/her for one more day this week cuz she's got a feild trip).
Same lunch though. Man, the TNT room is gonna be crowded.
And we get bagels.

Life is niiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Forst day of helath today. It is gonna be a funny as hell. For once, gym is a good way to start the day.

So, after a rather crazy trip to Ramapo with Heather, my musical adition ended up being tomorrow. I figure I'll ride over on the fencing bus cuz we have a meet that day, do the audition, which should take 2 minutes, and go back to the meet. Sounds logical to me. Now I just have to get the harmony part and the high notes down. Oh yeah, and learn to control my blatant stage-fright, which only kicks in when I have to sing. Gr-eat.

I have Fashion Zombies! by the Aquabats on repeat and its really brightening my mood. The Aquabats are awesome, cuz not only are they funny, but they're good. Proof that something doesn't have to be all dark and deep and have some amazing meaning to be awesome. Yay.

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 04:41:28 GMT

ulgh.
ULGH.

I'm getting restless.

:/